End It On This
by linniestorm
Summary: On Christmas Eve a relationship ends and leaves the participants with broken hearts...


  
**[ End It On This ]**

**TITLE:** End It On This  
**AUTHOR:** Lindsay Ince [chicago_heat@hotmail.com]  
**DISCLAIMER:** Don't belong to me never will, blah, blah, blahdie blah.  
**ARCHIVE:** http://www.stas.net/blurred  
**DISTRIBUTION:** Ask, and ye shall probably receive.  
**RATING: **PG**  
SPOILERS: **None.**  
SUMMARY: **On Christmas Eve a relationship ends and leaves the participants with broken hearts.**  
AUTHORS NOTES: **In response to Challenge #19 at [You Got the Stones?][1] Song is 'End It On This' by No Doubt. Its kind of fluffy yet with a little of my traditional angst thrown in. Hey, you don't expect me to abandon all my traditional topics just because its Christmas do you? ;)  
**FEEDBACK: **You know I love it...

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\\You see in the past   
I had a dream   
A fantasy   
I thought that we would last   
Become a little family   
Then one, two, three, four  
The years were flying by  
They soared   
And it's my gut feeling   
It's not happening for me, so... \\

Cordelia felt miserable. She sipped at her glass as she watched everyone in the room laughing and joking. It was Christmas and she was miserable. She turned, her eyes searching for Angel, knowing at least that one face in the room would be compatible to her own. Her face fell even further when she saw Angel and Wesley laughing together by the drinks table. She wished she hadn't come. She wished she hadn't suggested it. It had, after all been her idea, and she was bitterly regreting it now. A rather wealthy client had invited them to his office's Christmas party in gratitude for pulling off a demon hitman that a rival firm had hired to remove him from the competition. In their usual style, Angel Investigations had solved the case quickly and efficiently. And in Cordelia's mind, at a very low price. But then, in the space of a week, her life had been turned upside down and now she wasn't even sure if she knew who *she* was anymore.

\\You see it's hard to face   
The addict that's inside of me  
I want to fill my glass up   
With you constantly   
I've been here before  
But I've never ever felt this sure  
And now I know I've been dreaming  
And your actions  
Have inspired me, so...\\

Everything had been okay between them before the accident. They had kept their relationship a complete secret, and to their knowledge no one had found out. And why would they, nobody knew they knew each other before Cordelia had left for L.A. They had met at a frat party at UC Sunnydale a year ago. She had been struck by his looks primarily, but she had been totally vain and superficial before she had got to know him. She had flashed her biggest smile and pulled out all the stops to impress him but he hadn't been. At all. In fact he had been straight with her. that he wasn't interested. She had felt a crushing disappointment that had never felt before, but instead of going off and sulking, or bad mouthing him to her friends she accepted his attempts to engage her in conversation. It had been a revelation to her that men could be so...unsuperficial. That some of them were actually interested in the intellectual side rather than the physical. There was precious little of that at Sunnydale High School.

\\I open up, you ignore me   
Oh you're not the same at all no  
And if I turn back   
The pages of time   
I'd rewrite your point of view uh huh \\

She had been astounded that he had picked her. Out of every woman on the campus he had picked her. She even began to act differently, less sheep-like among her friends, less inclined to be nasty to the remnants of the Scooby Gang. When her father had lost all his money he was the one she went crying to, the one who comforted her and told her everything would be alright. And she had believed it, because she had him. She came to depend on him. Even when she moved away, she rang him, he rang her, he sneaked away to be with her and their relationship in some respects didn't change. She trusted him completely. That week when she had been attacked by a demon her powers of the vision had been ripped from her. Even though she had resented them in the first place, her loss affected her deeply. She lost her sense of purpose and felt as though she was no longer any use to her fellow crusaders, despite Angel and Wesley's attempts to convince her of the contrary. It came almost immediately before he called to say he was leaving Sunnydale to train elsewhere with the military and he thought it best if they ended their relationship. A double blow to anyone, it was all the worse as she had believed at last she had found someone to spend the rest of her life with. Someone she could finally completely trust.

\\Washed up on the shore   
Given one last chance   
To try some more  
But I'm tired, I'm freezing   
Let's stop and call it history\\ 

When she saw him at the top of the stairs her instinctive reaction was to run and throw her arms around him. To try and change his mind, do anything he asked of her. She knew his life had changed dramatically, that his foundations had been ripped away, but she couldn't believe he would give her up as well. He said he loved her. He said. He promised he's always be there. She was on tenterhooks as he walked down the stairs towards her. He stopped a few inches away. He didn't say anything, the hurt in both their eyes was evident. 

'Please don't leave me,' she managed to get out before the tears began to fall.

He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close.

'I have to go, make a fresh start.'

'Graham, I'm begging you, don't leave me.'

He looked at her again, and slightly shook his head. His expression betrayed his intentions. She knew when he wore that face he could not be swayed or persuaded. She desparately tried to maintain some semblance of control over herself as he looked at her, taking in every aspect of her face as a reminder to keep with him forever. It was in that moment that she knew that it was finally over.

\\Let's end it on this   
Give me one more kiss   
Let's end it on this  
Let's end it on this\\

He gently lead her towards the stairs, where a healthy sprig of mistletoe had been drawing drunken couples all evening. He looked deep into her eyes and sighed heavily. In his eyes she could see as much pain as she felt in her heart, but she no longer had the words to reach out to him, or to effect any kind of reconciliation. she felt like a stranger in her own life, an alien entity in her own body, she couldn't speak, she couldn't move. All she could do was stand in front of him and look into his eyes drinking him in, unable to fully comprehend the fact that after he left her that night she would never see him again. He pulled her towards him and hugged her tight, then drew back and gently kissed her. She clung to him, desparate to make him stay, to prevent him leaving. He returned the kiss for a moment before breaking away and walking up the stairs, leaving her glued to the spot, unable to talk or move anyway. She stood there watching his last movements till well after he had gone from her sight. She was desparate the hide the fact her heart was breaking.

\\It's over\\

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   [1]: http://ygts.cjb.net



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